I wonder what it is we actually expect from teens?
http://www.firemountainprograms.com/
I have heard that the sheriff wants to charge the cheerleaders as adults for their assault on a former friend who posted trash talk on her web page.
How many fight videos have you seen online? If you are my age, it's still something that is pretty new. I remember typewriters in my high school office...I'm 38. The youth of today have grown up with those violent images. And I'm pretty sure that when I turn on my TV tonight, I will see pictures and hear stories of adults using violence to solve differences. In fact, my country is at war right now...has been for almost 8 years. In Fact, I'm no historian...but has there ever been a culture that hasn't used violence at one time or another to solve a problem or make a point...or for sport?
What do we expect from our teenagers? As adults, it's pretty obvious that we see violence a a solution or at least an option to our problems. Why shouldn't they? Or are they supposed to be more evolved than us? Aren't they modeling us?
I am working with one of the kids who was part of the Fairview High School Fight Club here in Boulder Colorado. Adults were horrified that teens were fighting for entertainment...for sport.
Uuhhhhh. Boxing? Wrestling? UFC? WWF? Aren't fighting sports in the Olympics? Don't we give the winners belts, and medals and trophies and money and appearances on Celebrity Apprentice?
So they do it too and we yell, scream and punish them. We ticket them and fine them, suspend and expel them from our learning institutions...We call their actions reckless and dangerous, we call them punks and admonish their antics.
Teenagers are living in response to the world WE created. They are not the determining factor of the direction our society is going...we are.
These fight clubs are nothing more than a misguided attempt at creating a Rite of Passage. Something, anything that separates them from their childhood and helps them to establish themselves in the "adult" world. Teens also use drugs, alcohol, sex, driving, rebellions (like staying out late without calling), how they dress...
...because adults do these things.
Here is the solution. Very simple.
As adults, as a community, we must provide a Rite of Passage ceremony, event, ritual for our teens. If we don't provide one for them, they will provide on for themselves.
As adults, as a community, we must provide a place for teens to go and hang out to do the things THEY love to do. If we don't provide on, they will create one for themselves.
When do we listen to what these videos are really saying instead of just reacting to them? When do we answer their request for something edgy, extreme and life changing so they can see themselves and more than mere flesh and bones? They want to see themselves as something great, powerful and and able to handle anything.
We react to how they create this for themselves, they are in reaction to the world we've created for them...
It's time to stop reacting and take ACTION. They need us to guide them, to model for them how to become adults in this world.
Right now in time, this adult world is a violent, polluted place filled with hopes and dreams of a clean, peaceful future. It is our dream to make real. It is our work. Not theirs.
Their job is to discover who they are and how they will contribute to this dream.
Love,
Aaron
Fire Mountain Programs
http://www.firemountainprograms.com/
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